Sunday, September 15

Reflections and no regrets

Robin William is returning to television. In a recent interview, he was asked about being in television again and some of the changes he's made in his life. Having been through rehab twice, Mr. Williams noted some changes were out of necessity and some changes have been a choice. But when asked about regrets, Mr. Williams said he had none. "Regrets don't help anyone."

Friday was Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Atonement. The Days of Awe are what some call the
10-day period between Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, and Yom Kippur. This is a time of reflection and repentance. On Yom Kippur, Jews seek reconciliation with God as they prepare to move ahead in the new year.

As I was doing some cleaning, I came across a piece of paper on which I'd written, probably copied: "With clean hands we find our grace. We realize the slate can be as clean as we allow it to be."
Psalm 103:2-3 reads "Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things he does for me. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases." (NLT). God forgives all of my sins and heals all of my dis-eases, those abnormalities of my being.

If you're still with me, you're wondering how all of these things go together. First, then, thanks for hanging with me.

Humanity seems to have a need to refresh and reset. At New Year's we want a clean slate. It is a time of hopefulness. We try for no regret and no recriminations. I believe we hope and try to learn from our mistakes, but wallowing in them, speculating on the "what if" of the past is pointless. We live in the present. The road that wasn't taken doesn't really matter as long as we learn something from that experience that informs our present and helps us prepare for a better future. Our mistakes and failures are just as important in shaping who we are and the kind of people we can be as our successes.

But it can be hard to forgive ourselves, so our slates may not be as clean as we could allow them to be. Yom Kippur doesn't mean Jews can't repent and seek reconciliation any time during the year, but it marks the importance of going through that process, sealing that in the past, and moving on to the future. Reflection is important; dwelling and wallowing, however, don't help us grow or improve.

"Regrets don't help anyone." Mr. Williams is right; they don't. Reflecting on our behavior and actions, acknowledging mistakes, seeking repentance where it is due, learning from our reflections and mistakes, living in the present, and striving for a better future.

That's what can help us become better people. For ourselves; for everyone.

Monday, September 9

Success through failure

"Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail." 
Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp -- or what's a heaven for?" 
Robert Browing


Diana Nyad was 64 when she achieved her goal of swimming from Cuba to Florida, 110 miles. It was her fifth attempt since 1978; her fourth since turning 60. Each time she attempted the swim, she learned something new--about herself, about the conditions, about the kind of support she needed. Each time she failed, she learned something that would help her be more successful the next time.

There are those who believe she still has not succeeded, that she unfairly wore a mask and body suit to protect her from the jellyfish, that she swam too fast, that blah blah blah. There will always be skeptics when the seemingly insurmountable is surmounted.

An article in the September issue of National Geographic is titled "Famous Failures." Persistence. Resilience. In today's education space there are articles and studies about student grit, tenacity, and perseverance. It's curious to me that this American society--a culture that once proudly boasted of and honored "rugged individualism," that cherished and still occasionally recognizes American ingenuity--seems so often intent on schadenfreude.

Rather than celebrate the hard work of a successful venture, too many seem to want to cast aspersion. I suppose there are many things that drive that sort of mean-spirited behavior. Perhaps Diana Nyad didn't follow English Channel rules; that seems to be one of the complaints of the skeptics. Then again, she wasn't crossing the English Channel and she never claimed that she would follow those rules. Why is it so hard to say "Congratulations! Well done!" to someone who persevered to accomplish her dream? Who had supporters and encouragers to help her achieve that dream? Why must it be diminished?

Why can't this 64-year-old, who tried five times over 30+ years to complete this one task, be congratulated for what she did? That no one else has ever done? That others may try to do, and perhaps under English Channel rules because Diana Nyad has now established a benchmark.

You don't know until you try
We can learn from failure and we can learn from others' successes. In the National Geographic article, you can read about a failed Arctic balloon expedition. What has been learned from the degrees of success in each of those failures has led to remarkable technological innovations and learning about aviation and expedition in extreme conditions.

Everest climber Pete Athans says, “If you take away uncertainty, you take away motivation. Wanting to exceed your grasp is the nature of the human condition. There’s no magic to getting where we already know we can get.”